he wants to bone in the snuggie
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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