you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
