i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
