So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
