Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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