My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
