Don't you send me to vm
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
