i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
