She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I fill condoms, not promises.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize