Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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