he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
