I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
