JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize