I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
then he tried to convert me to islam
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
