I hate all girls vehemently.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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