I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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