I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The ass gains better be worth it
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