well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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