whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
