Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
