I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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