so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
