Sponge bath it is.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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