i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
