She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
