if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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