at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
