im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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