Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
