My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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