SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
