Nicole vs. Life
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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