Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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