it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
