Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize