so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
