Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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