i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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