I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
