I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
