Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My breath smells like gin and sadness
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
