I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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