AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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