Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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