That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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