if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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