You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
