it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
