spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
