o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
