But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
