The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
