Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He has the fingertips of a God
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