No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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