dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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