Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
