Don't you send me to vm
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I will pee on everything he values.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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