You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
