Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
