I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
