god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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