U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
