pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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