i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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