I've blown a few things in my day
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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