Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
